10 Simple Rules...

1. IF YOURE NOT INTERESTED SAY SO: Find a tactful, respectful way to tell a man/woman that youre not interested in them or what they have to offer so that you can avoid being annoyed with unwanted phone calls/communication.

2. SPEAK UP: Dont wait until youve been serious with someone for 6 months before you start discussing your likes, dislikes, desires, goals, etc. Find the right time to have those discussions early on so that the two of you are on the same page later on.

3. DO NOT COMPARE & CONTRAST YOUR NEW WITH YOUR OLD: No one wants to be compared to anyone else, whether it be good or bad. So dont spend time evaluating what he does that so and so didnt do. It will put a damper on what your new partner has to offer.

4. BOUNDARIES: DO NOT allow someone you are seeing into your home until youve been out on a few dates (amount of dates determined at your discretion). That will let that person know your intentions & it will give you time to find out if their intentions are the same.

5. ALONE TIME: DO NOT allow someone into your bedroom the first few times they visit your home. Staying in a common area will help you to avoid sending any signals that youre ready for the relationship to become physical.



6. BEDROOM: When you finally allow the person you are dating into your bedroom, if youre still not ready for sex, but you are interested in some intimacy, DO NOT allow them to sit on your bed. Make a comfy spot on the floor, or if you have a couch/chair in your room, sit there, leave the lights on & door open. This will send the signal that you feel comfortable enough to show them your bedroom but you are not willing to go all the way. IF YOU MUST sit on the bed, sit up straight, DO NOT sit or lay under a blanket/cover/sheet, etc.

7: HONESTY: DO NOT lead anyone on. If you know what you want, not only should you speak up about it, but you should also act on it. If you know you dont want him/her to get too comfortable, dont invite them over for a "movie night".

8: SEX: Only have sex when youre ready. DO NOT feel as though "oh we've been spending so much time together & hes so sweet, I guess we can do it now". Wait until the perfect moment to allow yourself to become truly intimate with that person. (Sex is always better when there is more than a physical attraction.)
a. DO NOT be afraid to request that that person go for STD/HIV testing with you before you have sex.
b. IT IS NOT taboo or suggestive if you have your own condoms.
c. DO NOT watch him put on a Magnum if hes an average sized man...find a sexy way to take out your own condom (that will fit) & put it on for him, he'll be so turned on that he wont even notice the wrapper isnt gold.
d. IF YOURE NOT COMFORTABLE talking about sex, condoms, testing, possible pregnancy, positions & inhibitions...YOU ARE NOT READY to have sex with that person. So limit your visits to the living room or GROW UP & talk about it.

9. SEXUAL TENSION: If youre a bit of a nympho but youre trying to take a new approach to dating, getting to know people, etc. MASTURBATE before you go on your dates, it will put your mind & body at ease & you will not feel pressured to have sex by the end of the date just because you need a fix.
a. Masturbation is very healthy. Not only will it release the sexual tension before you go out but it will give you the opportunity to explore yourself & your sexuality before being intimate with a man. No man should know your body & turn-ons/offs better than you do.

10. LOVE: Remain open to love, even if youve been hurt before. Dont make your new pay for your olds mistakes. Theres nothing wrong with being the perfect balance of "heart on your sleeve" & "strong willed/intelligent". Explore everything that you feel with a bit of caution but not fear. Give love!