How Do I Put This Nicely?...

When it comes to sex and relationships, honesty is the best policy but when you cant be tactfully truthful, how do you tell someone an ugly truth about themselves without losing them or ruining the moment?

Here is a list of the 5 most difficult things to tell your partner and some tactful/creative ways to break it to them :

.I.

PROBLEM: Your guy pulls out a large condom when he's better equipped for a "snug fit".
WRONG: "I don’t think you should use the large sized condom."
RIGHT: "Babe, I read something about these twisted pleasure, snug fit, ribbed, warming sensation condoms & i’d love to try them"

• Take out your own condom and find a sexy & creative way to put it on for him.
• Tell him, upfront, that you're worried about the condom coming off inside you because it should be a bit more snug.

Note: It is important to have a variety of your own condoms if you're single or dating so that you have a condom on hand that will fit your partner properly. (Refer to rule #8 of "10 Simple Rules" )

Most Planned Parenthoods have "variety packs" of condoms with a, well... variety of fits, flavors, etc. click the link to find a location near you Planned Parenthood Locator.

.II.

PROBLEM: Your partner has "B.O" (Body Odor).
WRONG: "You're really musty!"
RIGHT: Ok lets face it! There's no nice way to verbally tell someone they have b.o. but you can show & "nudge" them into figuring out what the problem is.

• Buy your partner a few items (body wash, deodorant, smell goods, etc), put it together in a basket & give it as a gift. (Include candles, flowers & other goodies they'd like, to soften the blow).
• If the problem seems to be deeper than hygiene & might be a health problem... casually bring up a fact you learned recently about body odor & underlying health issues, be sure to say you're getting tested & maybe its something you can do together.
• Bathe together & take note of how much effort they put into cleaning their genitals, feet & armpits, if they're neglecting those areas offer to help.
• If their lower regions are the issue, let them know that before engaging in oral sex you prefer to do it when they're fresh out of the shower.

Although these methods are kind of passive aggressive, they can help keep you in the clear romantically & keep your partner in "the clean" :)

.III.

PROBLEM: Your partner has bad breath!
WRONG: "Your breath stinks"
RIGHT: Once again there's no "nice" way to tell anyone their breath stinks, so telling your lover will be no easy feat.

• If its an "after meal" stink, simply suggest they carry mints to freshen their breath after meals (or you can supply the mints).
• Encourage proper oral hygiene. Brush your teeth together in the morning & after meals (use floss & mouthwash while encouraging your partner to do the same).
• Make dental appointments together & accompany one another in the dental chair, slyly ask the doc (while your partner is in the chair) what causes bad breath. (The doctor is close enough to smell the problem & may suggest a change in diet).

.IV.

PROBLEM: You're unsatisfied intimately/sexually.
WRONG: "You can’t work the middle, cause your thing too little"
RIGHT: Play a game of grown-up show & tell mixed with truth or dare.

• Discuss your fantasies with one another and act on them.
• Guide your partner when engaged in intimate acts.
• As your kissing, be a tease and say "I like it when you kiss me softly & massage my tongue with yours" while simultaneously doing just that.
• During sex, mimic the behavior, pace & language you're comfortable using, your partner will reciprocate & in no time, you won’t need to guide them any longer.

.V.

PROBLEM: You have an STI/STD
WRONG: "It burns when I pee?" "What's this? *pointing to lesion*"
RIGHT: "I'd like us to get tested together."

• If you have an std from a previous relationship, sit your partner down & let them know. Discuss details (whether it is easily contracted & taking proper precautions to avoid contraction).
• Get tested together.

Note: It is important to say what you mean & mean what you say but you don’t have to be mean when you say it. Express yourself, be honest & conversations like this will work out in your favor.

What are some problems in sex and relationships you'd like me to address? Comment below and I will address it in my next installment of "How Do I Put This Nicely?" :) Thanks for reading!